"Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you."

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who's the bitch and who's the bigger bitch???

in college youre entering a life of reality, not high-school but college, more challenges and more tasks to deal with. my life in college is a big task to be delegated.

when i was in high-school me and my friends were the popular ones, we have a leader named Dior and me and my best friend Jemi Nicdao are her "kind of" sidekicks. but really we're friends, being popular is so cool like life is easy for us we have friends, we like everything in front of us,  the fortunes are for us, and by means of that all of the resources that we could gather are just only for us exclusively!, aside from being the popular ones we turned to be the PLASTICS i mean super MEAN and BITCHY, we talk to someone and then after, we spread news feeds, fucked-up things about them, Big Bitch times... and as i went to college everything disappeared, the authority, my rules and regulations technically my life and popularity was gone. but i was there, college is like a big market for me. for my popularity come back...

i thought it was hard but really it was easy. so easy that i could be friends with all of them, i didnt know that i had this talent, being friendly. i was happy that i could have a new image here. a new start, a clean slate.

in our school events they have it all dance competitions, car shows and everything, and then i joined one of the most popular competitions ever in the school, its a SOLO DANCE Competition, and i made it i won the competition, (i can't elaborate things it is so detailed and a very long story) at first i never expected to win this competition because i had no dance training at all so technically Im just an amateur dancer... my competition are from Cheer Squad, some had a training when they were in high-school and some can do acrobatic skills which is kinda intimidating, i only do splits and standing splits, i haven't discovered my other talent in dancing yet, but i was confident that i could win this because of my facial expression which is very hard to imply when your on stage, mine was just pure natural on stage, others could notice it and i was lucky to have that!

Semi-Finals we prepared our own solo performance i did mine its a combo of outrageous, buttons and slave 4 u, it was so exhausting because its a 5 mins performance in front of hundreds and over all the performance was energetic. i was the first to be called for the Final Contestants and i was grateful that i got it first, and on the finals i will bring it! like nobody else could... i was so determined to bring my fierce ass into it!

Finals, in front of many students we did our production, after production our solo impromptu performance we picked a c.d. a prop, mine was a lace for gymnast and songs are tokyo drift, macarena, and you raise me up

it was so not my genre but i did my best not to let go of my prop because if i did i will lose....

after all the contestants performed there will be a tabulation, and after the tabulation, announcements for the top 3 who will compete for the title... i got in and we did an impromptu dance routines for a 4 mins song by Gary Valenciano "Hataw na"

i was lucky that i have my friends in front me... they were there to coach and to cheer for me... 

after that routine another tabulation, and the announcement of the winner, all of the three will receive an award and will win, 3rd runner up, 2nd runner up, and The Grand Champion, 

the first name that'll be called out is the 3rd runner up

so i didnt get it,,, two left, me and Varn the other conestant who turned out to be my friend in the whole month of our preparation, 

the first name that'll be called out is the 2nd runner up and the last name is the champion

and i heard Varn's name first and i was called out last, i couldn't believe it... 

i was the Champion! I'm the Grand Champion! god!

winning something like this gained me power and authority. (hahha maybe i dont know i dont care about that anymore) but really though i realized something, something that changed my life principles... it deleted my old ways of life, being popularity conscious, being the BITCH and being the QUEEN, because i offered myself something much better than that,,,, i am the CHAMPION... its an accomplishment not something that i could get from resources but instead i did it myself,,, with help of GOD...and of course my friends who are the continuous  motivations of my life especially when it comes to dancing! 

im so loving every minute of holding this title! THE CHAMP! never the BITCH! because being bitch is like life without butterflies u can get anything but without the effort, its all fake and pretentious...

from that on i left my High-School dreams to college dreams....

2008 was the year for me... i hope it will be a good year for my dancing career next year...... or the next or the next, and now i still DANCE, for myself, GOD and my friends and family,,, i did it something that i could be proud of.... =) i made it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYZJtZ-Piik

memory of what we used to call in love

"Im gonna remember you, you're gonna remember..."

you saw him with his new girl on your favorite shopping avenue where u both used to go when u need a fabulous dress, he went out and ran into you. you dont know what  to do. you stared down instead, he approached you and ask "hey how are u?"...u dont know the words to answer the question, u cant help but to drop a tear from your eyes, u looked for your mobile phone pretending that someone's calling u and u are late for something very important where in fact u were there to buy a dress. your ex was wondering, why'd u leave? 

he didn't know how to contact you, he's not sure if that is still your number he was about to ask when suddenly u left without saying goodbye. he waited for his new girl, the girl felt the pain of her boyfriend. she understands everything and that girl used to be your best girlfriend... 

u have reached your destination to a party until u saw both of them. at the exact place and time, both of your ex were staring and feeling awkward that you were invited too. they thought of it but they hoped that u wouldnt come because of the complicated situation...

years ago you the both of you attend parties with each other wearing the same designer clothes riding a limousine. but at this moment you were mortified, 

how could she do this to me? she was my best girlfriend...

last year the both of you were having problems in your relationship the guy dont know where to go, dont know whom he could confide... until your best friend helped him gave advice and he started to feel something for your best friend... he had fallen in love, and she felt the same way you had no idea what was going on until he decided to break up with you...he said that it is not working anymore. U cried and asking the real reason, he never spoke and left u behind.

Despite of what happened u tried to stay strong, until u need someone to talk. you were looking for your best friend calling her, to confide, to tell what was going on... until you found out that she left and went to Connecticut...  leaving u without saying goodbye,

your boyfriend broke it off, and heard that he left town...

u felt sad and don’t know whom  to talk to. But instead u wrote another novel about strangers of  love… and getting drunk everyday…

after four months of a no-show. your best friend didnt communicate with you, u started to wonder, what is going on?

your other friend called you for a celebration of her  birthday this coming may,

you asked her if your ex-boyfriend will come and she said yes.

not knowing that your ex-boyfriend is with your best friend now...

the invitation says bring plus one. so technically u need a date for the party. but instead u get your purse and keys and went to greenbelt,walking here and there entering beautiful designer stores buying everything that u could buy, until u found a pair of Jimmy Choos that'll be perfect as a DATE for the party.

you entered and luckily it was sale, from 15,000 pesos to 10,000 pesos, u purchased the shoes impulsively went to other stores, until u saw youre favorite label, LANVIN, walking slowly on the way u saw him looking at you, walking alone bringing paper bags of golden silk and treasures of labels, u stopped as he walk closely to you,and then u saw youre best friend inside LANVIN, u were happy to see her there, but u saw in his hands was her VERSACE bag that u gave her for her 25th birthday.... as you walk u stopped and stared at the ground concluding all of what happened this past four months... he was asking u questions and u never spoke any word... u rushed to leave... u ran and ran pass through your favorite shopping avenue... and finally u reached your Mazda 3... u went inside and started crying your all... finally now u had the answer u've been looking for, the sad truth of all... u drove all the way at your place... while sobbing all of the flashbacks entered your preoccupied mind... "how could they do this to me?" 

not knowing all of it... u got upset, hurt, devastated, and depressed...

u ride your building's elevator all the way to your condo... until u saw pictures of you and your best friend having fun on the beach as u looked at the photo u cried like someone died... not only u were mourning for your lost love but also for the betrayal you felt... 

you were fixing yourself,putting your make up on, and opening the box of golden treasures, Jimmy Choos

the car and driver was waiting for u downstairs, and finally u finished everything... the car went straight to your friend's birthday celebration  at the Oasis Hotel. u got out from the car with a pair of hot diamond studded Jimmy Choo shoes a black dress from Alexander McQueen and holding on your left hand, a Prada bag with golden strap with swarovski studs. as u walk inside people were staring at you, the hot novelist with high sense of fashion, a hot single writer with 3 plus ones... 

JIMMY CHOO, ALEXANDER MCQUEEN AND PRADA, while walking on the red carpet u saw the press and they were asking u personal questions, like your relationship and love life, u just said, "i like the way how i live my life now, single and hot!" the press were impressed of how u handled their questions,  u ask yourself “isn’t that pretentious?” but ignoring yourself again you’ve entered the venue of your friend's party u saw the both of them your ex-boyfriend and your ex-best girlfriend kissing and cuddling each other while u walk straight to give your friend a very expensive gift a Chanel purse with one white gold bracelet from Tiffany's... as u walk she pointed u the direction of your fabulous other friends, there they were your friends from college, they were very excited that u attended the party even without a plus one, they asked u where is youre date u simply said "ooooh im so tired of them"

your other friend asked "them? so it means your dating  many men now?" u said "im dating labels now... Choo, Mcqueen, and Prrrraadaa" and all of them laughed as they stare at u thinking of how they've missed u so much... not knowing one of your friends brought you a blind-date, a half-french half- filipino with chinese decsent, he was the CEO of a management firm where your ex-boyfriend works..

he was rich hot and kind, years ago your ex-boyfriend used to mention him to u, he was very jealous and he envied him, now u had all the opportunity to make him jealous, but instead u stopped and said to yourself.

"i know they did that but i know im smart enough to make revenge, i just hope karma is real, but this is a jackpot, he's cute and very sweet, i want to get to know him its like love at first sight!"

He was looking at you just only u and the both of u started talking and sharing everything like the two of u know each other for many years. Like u never noticed that your ex-boyfriend and your ex-best friend was there, u felt that u are in another world.

as the time passed by the two of u were the only persons who was there on that table, not noticing that others left.

u glanced at your ex-boyfriend's table u saw the both them fighting.the CEO asked u if u want to go out for a drink you said yes and after few minutes u decided to leave, and ask him to wait because you will go to the powder room... CEO SAID yes... and he waited outside the powder room. And nervous for your first date.

Then a lady on a black LANVIN dress slowly approaches the powder room with tears in her eyes,

that lady was "Girl's" ex-best friend, 

and then u saw her standing beside u, looking all sad and the look of begging for apology crying her heart out because of her failing relationship with his boyfriend your ex-boyfriend, u walk closely to her, hugged her and whispered "thank u for everything, now i know who i should trust my life with... Goodbye and thank u take care"

as u exit ex-best friend was crying and feeling sorry for what she did. blaming herself...

CEO waited for u, he grabbed your hand stared at you like you’re a melting butter and he whispered something, "youre the girl of my dreams, i thank God that u and your ex-boyfriend broke up" u smiled with the look of falling in love u and whispered at him "things happen for a reason I guess youre the reason!" 

walking down stairs the both of u ran into your ex-boyfriend he wanted to talk to you but u smiled at him and shouted THANK YOU BECAUSE OF YOU I WILL NEVER MET MY FUTURE! I WILL REMEMBER U FOR DOING THIS YOURE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE!!!

HE sobbed and feeling sorry for his self, as u and CEO exit the hotel the car approached and u felt a new girl with the guy who will love u for the rest of your life a guy that u barely know but he is the guy who u could trust your all and all, who is willing to accept your flaws and all…he is the ONE,  THE BIG true LOVE….

i hope u'll like it! =)

LESSONS OF L.O.V.E.

LESSONS OF LOVE

Love is a lot like studying

We learn to fall in love we learn to feel we learn to kiss to touch and to make love..

But especially, we learn how to escape being hurt

How far will you go for someone you love?

Maybe two or three miles?

Or maybe you will go to other places to forget about him/her, feel invisible, and feel tortured? But what if you couldn’t stop or erase the way you feel?

What if you’re too weak to stand on your feet without them?

What if there is no substitute for this drug? What if she/ he is the one but you were wrong?

What if you settled for that feeling of convenience?

U gave your all, but still nothing???

My advice

Just take a deep breath…

Look in the mirror…

Stop sobbing...

Can u see him/her?

He/she looks devastated, depressed and unhappy…

talk to yourself and ask this question

"why am i crying? why did i forget about you?"

NOW…finally you will realize that he/she forgot to love him/herself…

Now you’ve learned, the number one LESSON of all time

Learn to love yourself first before you surrender it all to your GREAT BIG LOVE…

DON'T WRITE A LOVE SONG YET... MAKE SURE THEY ARE WORTHY OF IT...

im waiting...TAGAL!

In Love sometimes we tend to be stupid, well actually not only sometimes.

There are instances that we kill for love, like killing ourselves. for example being depressed, listening to tunes that'll make u cry and cry and cry, unable to sleep we just keep asking ourselves "why? why? why?"

In my case I tend to be one of the biggest martyrs in this world

Yeah yeah yeah you might say that I’m obsessed but seriously when I love I am  dangerous I am vicious and furious, in the sense that I really need to be loved

How sad to think that we might not able to be loved. There are so many people in this world that wanted to be loved endlessly but hey!!! we’re human-being and its natural that life is unfair for us

How many of you got hurt? How many of you suffered? How many of you waited long enough for the one you love?

I got hurt, I suffered, I’ve waited long enough for him,

I know its naïve, but what can I do? I’m naïve and I’m stupid.

i think 20 years old tend to be stupid. (just a thought)

Love? It’s so refreshing  to see, to hear, and to feel but when it comes to obstacles and through hardships with the one you love can you take risks and sacrifices, are you willing to give up things just for the one you love??? i think someone told me that when we grow in a relationship we learn to compromise, but does it exist?  instead all i hear is nagging and fighting...

Love is unfair, aside from life, it is crucial, and sometimes it’s discriminative.( FOR GAYS LIKE ME)

I don’t know why people are so scared to fall in love to give in, to give it a chance

How about those people who really need to be loved? Are they supposed to wait for that special someone, or are they willing to wait for that fairytale to come true?

I wonder…

Are we willing to sit and wait JUST LIKE A PRINCESS WAITING FOR HER PRINCE TO COME? or take risks and look for that someone who will make u happy???

Or are we just too chicken to fall in love again?

IN COMPARISON IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT LOVE IS LIKE A FAIRYTALE????

I FEEL MORTIFIED HAHAHAHAHHAH!